Front Magazine #2
Jo Guest
The time is early evening and the place is the plush Sanderson Hotel. I'm in a room with Jordan and Jo, who are both topless. Unfortunately, we are not alone. There is a photographer, his assistant, a make-up artist, a stylist, a picture editor and an art editor with us. I feel like shouting at the top of my voice, 'Get out you thoughtless bastards - you're ruining my chance of a lifetime.' But I don't. Instead, I wait for them to get dressed, get into a lift with both of them, and press button G. The lift works perfectly. It doesn't judder to a halt between floors, but heads smoothly downwards and opens its doors at the ground floor. Another chance of a lifetime falls by the wayside. We walk into the crowded bar and sit down. Jo is on my left and Jordan is on my right. I can feel at least 50 pairs of blokes' eyes boring into me as they think in unison, 'Jammy bastard!' Time to switch the tape on and let the girls do the talking...
Jordan: So Jo, is being a model something you still enjoy?
Jo: Yeah, I think you have to enjoy it to be good at it. I don't really get bored of photo shoots, but then I don't do as many as I did, what with TV stuff, so today was really good fun for me. I loved it... I really loved it!
Jordan: Do you ever resent the newer, younger models?
Jo: No, not at all, but I did when they all started having a short, blonde bob! That's my hairstyle! No I'm still working and you have got to accept there are new girls coming in all the time.
Jo: Anyway, Jordan, what can you see yourself doing in one year's time?
Jordan: I'll be a singer, my singles and albums will be number one - well, hopefully. Two or three years ago you heard my early music stuff. I don't use it anymore, but you heard it, didn't you Jo?
Jo: Yeah, we went to a party one night and you put your CD on in the car. It was really good stuff, really funky and easy to listen to. But, Jordan, you have to admit that a lot of people try to be singers and it just doesn't work...
Jordan: I'm not trying, Jo. I am going to be a singer.
Jo: So does that mean you already are?
Jordan: I want to be taken seriously. The problem with Caprice, Tracy Shaw and Naomi Campbell, is that they suddenly decided to be singers. They had no build up, it was just bam, bam, they released a song. I've had a build up for about two years. In all my interviews I always mention it, and people ask me when my music is coming out. I'm in no rush, I want it to be perfect.
[At this point Jordan shouts, 'David', and waves across the bar at a bloke who has just walked in. Annoyed at the interruption I turn round to see a grinning David Beckham waving at me - bizarre! Jordan goes and has a chat with him, then returns to the bar]
Jo: You and your celebrity mates. I met him through Dane (Bowers, her boyfriend from Another Level), because he's doing a song with Posh. They played at Party in The Park.
Jo: Would you ever do a song with Dane?
Jordan: Actually, we have discussed it. Ooh, there he is!
[Once again, Jordan skips over to the entrance of the bar and brings back Dane, who shakes hands and takes a seat]
Jordan: We are like a normal couple, of course we have spoken about doing a song together. It would be nice to do one, but that is way in the future. After I've had a few hits, and made it myself, then we might record a christmas number one.
Jo: But don't you worry you might not be able to get your boobs out anymore?
Jordan: Wow, straight to it, Jo! I love not getting them out any more! What did you call them earlier Jo? my two little Jacuzzis.
Jo: Why keep them under wraps now?
Jordan: It shows people aren't just interested in me for my tits.
Jo: Why did you get them done then?
Jordan: For myself, because clothes didn't fit right. I didn't like getting them out when they were so small. Would you ever get yours enlarged? I don't think you should, as you're happy with your body now. Would you consider it after kids, when they drop?
Jo: If I were thinking about kids, I wouldn't get them out any more. I would bottle feed instead of breast-feeding them, but no. The surgery looks too painful, I've seen it on TV, and there seems to be loads of mistakes.
Jordan: But that was in the old days.
Jo: What about all those soya ones that have to be taken out? Someone you know Jordan, whose name I can't mention, she had them and it's gone wrong!
Jordan: Mmm... Have you ever slept with another woman?
Jo: No, I've only done pictures with them, slightly stronger than the ones we've done today, but I have no urge to get stuck in there at all. What about you?
Jordan: [Awkward silence] Er... I haven't slept in the morning. I'm innocent in every way! Have you ever had problems with a sleazy photographer?
Jo: My worst experience with a sleazy photographer was when I was in the South Of France doing some pictures - top-shelf ones. The guy said, 'Jo, I want to see what you look like when you're horny!' I said, 'I've just got off the plane, give me a chance.' He then dropped his trousers and said, 'See if this will help.' I told him I wasn't into that. I felt really uncomfortable and just wanted to go home. He was a wanker, to put it mildly! I don't get paid to do that sort of thing. Have you had a similar experience?
Jordan: Yeah, when I first started. I didn't know the poses, so you should be able to trust a photographer. Then he took some pictures I didn't want to be taken, where my snatch was hanging out. The next thing I knew he'd sold them to some mens magazine. If I don't purposely pose for it, it's not nice to find out. If I was going to pose for that, I would make sure it looked like I was enjoying it.
Jo: That must have got him about a quarter of a million - what an arsehole!
Jordan: Don't worry bad things, hold on a minute... I always get sayings wrong!
Jo: The saying is, what goes around, comes around.
Jordan: Yeah, that's right, what goes around, comes around!
Jo: Has anyone rather surprising made a pass at you?
Jordan: I think if people approach you, be it a man or a woman, you have to encourage it. A man's not just going to walk up to a girl in a bar. But a girl did in Brighton.
Jo: What did you do?
Jordan: I smaked her one! [laughs]. No, I asked her to leave me alone, because obviously Brighton is known for that scene; gays and lesbians, innit? But she kept on following me and touching me, so I kept on saying 'go away' as nicely as possible. Yeah, so Jo, when you're older and think you've finished modelling, do you think you will ever get married and have kids?
Jo: I don't know… after all of the excitement and all the attention of modelling, to think of being a housewife and taking the children to school for 18 years is a bit of a comedown from this life. To be honest, I don't really want kids. What's your favourite bit of a woman?
Jordan: The belly. A brown one with blonde hair.
Jo: What about on a man?
Jordan: I like a tanned, brown neck. And I like hands. What part of the body do you like?
Jo: I don't fancy women but I can appreciate a good-looking woman. Really, there's nothing about one that sticks out to me. If a woman looks healthy, then they look beautiful. Anyway, Jordan, do you enjoy getting recognised?
Jordan: No. If I do get recognised, it's normally when I'm in a nightclub, all dressed up.
Jo: You must get recognised when you go out shopping?
Jordan: Not really, because I don't wear make-up! How about you?
Jo: I love it whenever I'm recognised. Everyone is really polite, there's no, 'Get your tits out love.' People shake my hand and treat me like a lady.
Jordan: What about underwear - do you like wearing it when not on a shoot?
Jo: Yeah, I do have a few sexy little numbers, which I wear on special occasions. How about you?
Jordan: No. I've got them in a drawer, but some of the stuff is uncomfortable. It's nice just to put comfy knickers on, but to be honest, I feel better in my birthday suit!
Jo: So when's your birthday?
Jordan: Naughty! Is the impression you give in magazines different from the real you?
Jo: Yeah, I behave like a slut for magazines. A couple of years ago most of the pictures seen were of me with my arse in the air. But I'm not like that - I'm a romantic. My image in magazines is totally different to me.
Jordan: What do you think about when you pose for pictures?
Jo: I hope I'm breathing in and everything looks all right. As soon as I've got make-up and underwear on, I assume the role. During the day, I'm not like that. Do you ever get turned on when you're riding a horse?
No. When I'm riding a horse I'm not riding it to turn myself on, I'm exercising it. It's a job.
Jo: Do you have a whip, then?
Jordan: Yes, but nothing sexual, my horse is scared of sticks!
Jo: Do you use it in the bedroom?
Jordan: I'm not that kind of girl!
Jo: That's not what you said in a previous interview!
Jordan: Well, not anymore, Jo, that was a very old interview! Page Three used to be more popular, you've done it for 11 years, I'm only on my third year. What do you think of it now?
Jo: I think it's not what it was. It's not as prestigious as it used to be. It was very good-hearted, but now it has become grumpy and impersonal. They don't write anything about the girls any more, so you don't know about them or what they're up to. They used to be regulars, now it's a different girl every day.
Jordan: Yeah, it used to be: Jo Guest, Danny Wheeler, Lindsay Charlton - it used to be all that lot.
Jo: Then The Sun said that they were not going to feature any more girls who've had boob jobs. So you took quite a risk Jordan - why did you take the gamble?
Jordan: Because I wanted them done so much, and I thought to myself either my career will take off, or it won't. Do you go topless on the beach?
Jo: Yes, I do.
Jordan: I sunbathe nude, back to nature, just whip it all off - I don't like white marks! Will you always stay in the modelling business?
Jo: No - as soon as I have given up, I want a total change. I want to work at a café on the motorway - all those truckers! I think any job after this will be disappointing. Why do you keep changing your hair?
Jordan: One minute I'm blonde, then I'm dark. I get bored of a look, so I like to change it. I haven't found a look I really like yet. Some people like me blonde and some dark, but I've decided that in about a month's time I'll go platinum blonde… Right, Jo, I think it's your round. |
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