Front Magazine
So Jordan, fancy a fag?
I beg your pardon!
A fag - you know a cigarette.
Oh. No I don't smoke, thank you very much, but I'll show you something you probably can't do. [Jordan grabs one of my Silk Cuts and chucks it from about waste height into her mouth. As it sits there provocatively between her luscious lips, she grins and gives me a cheeky wink. I stand there openmouthed, having just witnessed quite possibly the most self-assured, sexy and strangely erotic thing that anyone has ever done with a humble fag. I'm left wandering what she'd do to impress me if I pulled out a fat cigar. She then wanders over, taps a bloke on the shoulder and asks him if he's got a light. He turns round, recognizes her and mamges to look even more amazed than me].
You work with the Jordan Formula One team - is that where you got your name from?
No, my name came from when I started to do Page Three. Some girl didn't turn up for the job, so I decided to go for it and thought I'd call myself Jordan. It's just a coincidence.
While we're on the subject, what's all this we read about you and Ralph Schumacher? What's going on between you two then?
Umm, I'm not with him.
Aha, but are you planning to be?
I've known Ralph for about two or three years. The first time I met him was when I did this bra shoot and every time I work with him there's always chemistry there. Nothing's ever happened though.
Why the hell not? I don't understand how it's possible to get into bed next to you and think, 'I'm a bit tired. I know... I'll just fall asleep.'
Did someone say that happened? Somebody else stitched me up. As far as I'm concerned and this is the first interview anyone's had with me about this - I've had German papers and everyone waiting to hear me comment on this - all I will say that it's very refreshing to find such a gentlemen. He's very unusual and very, very nice.
Perhaps he's mad and simply doesn't fancy you?
Some men don't make moves because they're either very respectable or they're gay or a virgin.
Or they're just tired?
Or they've got loads of time and don't need to rush things - how does that grab you?
Quite well, actually. You recently split up with your Gladiators boyfriend, Ace. Do you like blokes with big muscles?
Yeah, I did split up with him - he had a very nice personality, but it didn't work out. One of the major things that ruined our relationship was that his family absolutely hated me. His mother was so jealous of me.
But why? You're great looking, you've got a lovely personality and you've got a very successful career. Surely you'd make the ideal potential daughter-in-law?
Before I met his mum, Warren (Ace) told me not to wear a short skirt and I asked him why not. He said, 'Because my mum doesn't like my dad buying The Star or the Sun because of the topless models.' What chance did I have? He was so close to his brothers that when I came on the scene and he got close to me and his brothers fucking hated me. We were supposed to have been getting married in the Summer, but what chance did we have? Anyway, it depends what type of big muscles we're talking about.
Erm... biceps, triceps that kind of thing.
It's nice to have muscles, but you can be fit and not have muscles. If I like a person it doesn't matter what their body's like.
Thank Christ for that! So you're 21 today?
Yeah, I'm celebrating tonight. I've only slept with three blokes in my whole life and I've only ever had long relationships. I'm quite sensitive and I have to have more than that I'm afraid. I could easily go out, I suppose and just shag, but I'm not like that. I need to feel wanted.
So you'd never consider a one-night stand?
No. I wouldn't Piers [Dirty Laugh]. Sorry, but... although it goes through my head. I'd love to take someone into the toilets of a club and fuckin' shag 'em senseless, but I'm not like that. I'll do it in cars, buses, taxis, wherever. I'll have it anywhere, but I have to be in a relationship. I've got more respect for myself than to just open my legs for some man to get rid of their dirty water up me and then fuck off. I've got thoughts as well - I can think it and wank about it, but doing it is different. Shit, what am I saying? I could get very naughty if I wanted to, but I won't.
Well, that is a men's magazine and we're not afraid to admit we wank about erm... things.
I wank about things.
I would've thought you did. It's a common misconception that women don't.
Oh, I do all the time. I can wank wherever - trains, toilets, aeroplanes...
Hmm... but doesn't Jordan get as much sex as she wants?
Well, when you're with a person, of course you have sex all the time. In the relationship I've had it never dies down because I don't want it to. When you're with someone for a long time it usually does, but it doesn't with me. It shouldn't be that way, if it does get to that stage you should always experiment, and I usually do. I know I'm only 21...
Do you think, being as attractive as you are and on the covers of men's magazines all the time,
that no bloke is good enough for you?
I am the most insecure person you can ever meet in your life. Anyone can have me if they treat me right. I don't care what profession they're in - if I had my way I'd like to look after them because I'd like to have that power. If a bloke comes up to me I'll talk to him. At the end of the day it's only a job I do. I can be polite, but if they take the piss I'll tell them to fuck off and then they know where they stand.
What happened with this thing in the papers where somebody's claiming that you owe them for a dress?
Oh, how can you bring that up?
Easily.
I buy dresses from this woman and I've always said to her 'When I get married I want you to make my wedding dress.' Since then, I've always wanted to design my own evening gown, which I did with her help. I chose the fabric and she made the dress up, but when it was finished it didn't fit me. So I said, 'I'm not paying for it,' and she said 'Well, I've done all the work.' I said, ' I'm sorry, I'm not wearing this, I want it made again.' So she got a court judgment against me because I canceled the cheque. Because I'm not guilty of anything, I'll go to court and say to the judge, 'Would you wear this dress?'
So who were those geezers I saw you with in that club in Ibiza?
Oh, they were from the Millwall football team. They came over on the same plane as me and we met up for a couple of nights. I'm a single woman - I can do what I want. Here, flick your ash - you like being told what to do don't you? I bet you like being spanked.
Umm... do you enjoy being recognized?
I don't think I'm famous. I do stuff for the tabloids, people buy them and they recognize me, but it doesn't really bother me. I don't get annoyed at people by coming up to me. It's quite nice as long as I'm not looking to rough. [and with that the bell goes for last orders at the bar and we head off to join her mates in a nearby nightclub. It's difficult to imagine that Jordan could ever look rough because, despite my best efforts, I've never managed to see her in the morning. If you're reading this, God...] |
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