M8 Magazine
Jordan, in a recent poll, you were voted the 45th most desirable woman in the world. Surely that's an understatement?
That's shit (Laughs). But then it's fair to say that all I've done really has been page 3 of the Sun and not
every man reads that, so not everybody's seen me (tongue poked firmly into cheek). Maybe next year!
Maybe! Jordan's not your real name, though. Where did that come from?
Well, I wasn't ever actually going to do page 3, until one day when somebody failed to show up for a shoot. I was asked if I'd do it instead and I was like "Oh, all right then". They said they'd have to change my name and my agent suggested "Jordan" so that was it!
You have to wear a lot of funky gear when you're doing your glamour work. What kind of clobber do you like to wear for yourself?
It depends what mood I'm in. I have everything from a maid's outfit, through rubber and PVC stuff to polycotton dresses for the Summer. There's nothing that I buy that I don't wear. I like all styles from really kinky to "sweet and innocent girl next door". My boyfriend (Warren Furman, "Ace" from TV's The Gladiators) likes me to look sweet but I'm more often saying to him "Right. What'll I be tonight, then... a little schoolgirl, nurse or what?"
And does your boyfriend like all that roleplay stuff?
He's got no choice - he has to like it! I ask him to tell me some stories or call me a different girl's name. I love it - it turns me on. It kind of makes me angry and yet I still like to fantasise about it. I dunno what all that's about! Thing is, Warren's a really sweet, innocent, shy guy. He's a "sex indoors" type of person whereas I'm more like "Let's go outside and risk get caught doing it"! I don't mind banging a knee doing it inside a car or whatever. Maybe that's why we're so good together - because we're different. On Valentine's Day, I bought him loads of sex toys, being all "rudie rudie" like I am, and he bought me... a watch! I thought that was soooo nice of him!
And have you ever been caught in the act outdoors?
Yeah. I was due to go to my Mum's for dinner with an ex-boyfriend and I wanted to stop off for a bit of "you know what". I used to do a lot of horse riding around my area, so I know all the country roads and paths . We ended up stark bollock naked in this car at 6.30pm on a winter's night. All the windows were steamed up and we were listening to the charts on the radio, knocking away, like you do. Next thing, there's a knock at the car window. There's a guy standing there with a torch and he says: "Sorry to interrupt, but if you don't mind hurrying up, I'm waiting to lock the gates onto my land!"
So what did you say or do?
Well, we finished it off first. We both had to be satisfied! Believe me, if a man hasn't satisfied me then it can't stop until they do! It doesn't matter if it's their willy, their hand or their tongue or whatever! Then we left.
Demanding chick! And quite right, too. Anyway, let's try to stay away from sex for a minute or two. What's there to do in you home town of Brighton on a Saturday night?
Oh, I hate going out in Brighton now. It's the usual story; groups of young guys giving it "Oi, get your tits out for the lads!". Is that all they have to do, I wonder? I mean, it's different in London. People respect you more, there. But in a small town where the best known person is Chris Eubanks with me trailing in second place, things are different.
So who are your celebrity mates and where do you hang out with them?
To tell you the truth, people are people and all that "celebrity" tagging doesn't bother me at all. I'm the type of person who sticks to my own type when I go out and I don't make friends with people just because they're celebrities. I have a few friends who are models, like Charlie O'Neale and Michelle Clatt, but I know a lot of others as well. We like to go out for a drink or clubbing usually, or sometimes we all go to somebody else's house and just have a girlie night in.
Do you and your mates ever do the lipstick lesbian thing in clubs? Flirting with each other outrageously to wind the guys up and that sort of thing?
Yeah, we used to. But it's not something I do so much now that I'm more in the public eye. I used to flirt with Michelle and Charley for fun, to get the guys circling around us. It was fun, but not these days. I'm getting out of it now. I have to look after my reputation.
But you're not attracted to other women in the physical sense?
No. I'm a man's woman, full stop.
Okay. Quite clear! Ever given a fan a sympathy shag?
No, I'm not into one-night stands. I've only slept with three guys in my life and they all involve relationships. I couldn't do it, even though I might sometimes wonder what this person or that person
might be like in bed.
So what mark out of ten would you give yourself in bed?
I wouldn't - I'd leave it entirely to the man in my life to decide that.
When was the last time you literally pissed yourself laughing?
Myself and my cousin decided to take our horses out one day and ride them around naked for a laugh, Lady Godiva-style. We were laughing so much I pissed myself on the poor horse. Luckily, it was a warm day and it dried out okay. My cousin was usually involved if there was any knicker-wetting going on!
The Sun ran a phone poll about whether you should have plastic surgery to enhance your breast size, and readers voted "no". What did you make of that?
I still want the operation. I think I'm going to go for it in July. Thing is, I feel a bit bad about it, because the Sun now don't use page 3 girls who have artificial breasts and, to some extent, that's my fault.
And are you REALLY sure about that?
No (laughs). The thing is that people like natural boobs as well. The reason that I'd like the surgery is that I really like boobs. I feel more like a woman. It's nicer when you wear a dress. And although I've backed out of it three times now, I'm going to have it done someday.
So what size do you want to be?
I want to have DD cups. I wanna have it large! I have a friend who wanted it done; she had it done a year ago and now she wants them reduced back to where they were before!
Jesus! But surely, if you have your breasts done, that's the end of page 3 for you?
Well, yes, it would be. In one way, that would be a great shame because page 3 is what's got me where I am today but, then again, I want to move on and expand my career.
Doing what?
Singing. I've been taking singing lessons and I'm desperate to start a career in music. Watch this space...!
Okay. Tell me, what's different about the way men treat you now that you're a well-known page 3 girl?
Well, I don't know why, but men seem to think that page 3 girls are only interested in money. They're like, "I've got X amount of money and I can do this and do that with it" and my attitude is "Christ, do me a favour". Money doesn't impress me at all. Not in the slightest. The men I find myself attracted to are the ones who don't say anything and are quite shy. If they don't even look at me, I'm much more interested than if they throw themselves at me. But all men aren't the same.
Did you attract a lot of male attention before you were famous?
That's a very interesting question you've just asked. Without saying too much, as a child I've always been in trouble with men and the police have always had to get involved, through no fault of my own. Once, when I was younger, there was a photographer who did some pictures of me. I was a cheeky kid and I was forever sticking my tongue out at him, like little girls do. He used to take all these pictures of me doing this and I thought nothing of it. One day, my Mum dropped me off to do a shoot there. This guy had another woman there but he didn't like my Mum to be there during the shoots. So she was sent out for a walk and he wanted to do a photograph of me with a wet shirt on and nothing on underneath. I must have been about 12 or 13 at the time and I said that I didn't want to do it because I'd be cold. He said he'd use warm water but I was still having none of it. Later on, we found out that he was jailed for indecent assault and other similar things. I didn't know it at the time, but my cheekiness was turning him on.
That's a horrible story. He never laid a hand on you though, did he?
Not on me, no.
Good thing too. Half our readership would be looking for him! Tell us, are you ever asked for an autograph and all you want to say is "Fuck off!"?
No, never. The people who ask me for my autograph are the people who've put me where I am today and you can't afford to forget that. I also think about what it would be like if I were them and there was somebody that I wanted to meet, I'd like to be able to get their autograph. If I do a personal appearance and I have to stay an hour longer than I was originally scheduled to, just to give everyone an autograph, then I'll do it. I'm alright that way!
They say that there's no such thing as bad publicity. Do people in your business ever spill the beans on each other for publicity?
I hate people like that. Cheap and nasty. Anyone who does that has no pride in themselves. I could tell you loads of stories about people but the thing is that if you want to stay in the business then you've got to be a bit shrewd, haven't you? At the end of the day, you need friends and you need to be able to confide in people.
What do you like to listen to?
To be honest, there's not much I don't like, except heavy metal and pan-pipe music. My favorite music includes housey stuff, speed garage, R&B, hip-hop. Things I can really dance to. If you look at my CDs you'll find quite a wide range of stuff, but I'm especially heavy on club mixes. They get you going before a night out!
Where do you like to dance in London?
Well, mostly, I go out to events that I'm invited to. My favorite places are Brown's, and the Hanover Grand but I like to go to down-to-earth local clubs sometimes. I feel more comfortable there. Places like the Ministry of Sound are a bit too druggie for me. I was there with my friend Michelle thinking "What are we doing here?" Smaller local places are where it's at for me.
Any favorite DJ's?
Pete Tong, Judge Jules and Boy George. I love Boy George's stuff.
So what does a page 3 model who travels a lot with her work do for holidays?
In my game, there are a lot of nine hour flights here there and everywhere for work, so I prefer to take a shorter plane journey somewhere hot. I like the Canary Isles, Gran Canaria in particular.
And do you ever just take time off just to sit at home, eating chocolate with your feet up, slobbing out and watching Jerry Springer or something on TV?
I love that program! Yes, I do sit around sometimes but I'd rather watch a video or go to the cinema. And, because I'm with Warren, we quite often go and play tennis and stuff. I'm not trying to kid on that I exercise a lot or anything, but I do some things!
What's the worst thing that could happen in career terms for you now? Becoming pregnant maybe?
Oh, no. Don't even say that! My career's much more important at this stage. I'm only 20 and there's so
much to do!
How long does a page 3 photo shoot last?
Maybe two and a half hours, just for the one picture in the paper! And they never seem to choose the best one, either! I feel a bit sorry for some of the girls sometimes. Myself, I always feel that they print shit ones when there are much better ones. It's quite annoying, really.
So what keeps you motivated to keep working?
Well, sometimes I don't have to get up until 2 in the afternoon and the time off is flexible. The work can be hard, too, but it's worthwhile.
What did your school reports say about you?
Oh dear! I was expelled from one school for bad behavior. I was always naughty, on report, in detention. Talking, laughing, mucking about was always getting me into trouble. When I was fifteen all the boys at school had off-road motorbikes. I wasn't allowed to have one so I just went out and bought one. My parents took the keys from me so I learned how to hot-wire the bike so's I could still use it. That's why my Mum eventually bought me a horse, to keep me out of trouble. I was a nightmare child; a real child from hell. Still it builds character!
And what did you think you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Model and pop star. Isn't that every girl's dream? I've been really lucky so far and I really appreciate it. I really do.
Is there a danger that you've come so far, so fast, that you're going to end up spoiled?
No. I often sit back and think "Wow, look what's happened to me". I have been so lucky, and I know it.
Anything weird in your handbag?
No, not really. Bra and knickers. Chewing gum. Pens. Receipts. Tampax. Just the usual stuff. Even the loose change that kicks around at the bottom!
What are your weaknesses? Let's take them one at a time, starting with sex!
Well, I'm like Jo Guest in a previous M8 who said that she liked it with her head in the pillow and her arse in the air. I'm a little frail girl, but I like being banged really hard, with my hands against the wall and Warren says "I can't bang you like this, I'll hurt you" and I'm like "Fucking bang me!"
Sometimes I like it nice and soft but sometimes I like a good old banging where it hurts! Oooh, I love it! I like being tied up, blindfolded and gagged so you can't move. You really have to trust the guy, though, if you're going to let him do that then fuck you. It's a turn-on for me when I can trust a man. Sometimes I like to be dominated, pinned down. Not the spanking and masks and stuff, though. I used to have my arse spanked when I was a kid - why would I want that now?! I do like my hair being pulled from time to time, though. it's like a pair of reins, innit? (Roars with laughter!) All these interviews I do... I dunno... I must be coming across as really sex-mad (which I am!), but there's a nice little girl inside of me, too!
And what can't you resist, emotionally?
I need to be told that I'm loved and wanted, I need compliments, too - or else they're out the door.
Doesn't that hint at some insecurity underneath the success?
I am the most insecure person you could ever, ever meet. I'm so loud as if I know what I'm on about but, deep inside, I'm just a little girl who's so insecure. If I go out with someone I need them to sit and give me a cuddle every night. If they don't, I wonder if they still love me. Unless I get that...
So where does that all stem from?
I don't know. I'm one of three kids and we were made to feel very secure. It wasn't my childhood.
And does the successful modeling career not go some way towards putting those insecurities to rest?
No, not at all. People can think I'm so confident just because I'm loud but close family members can see through that. My Nan says "If only other people could see you the way I do!".
Do you think you'd ever go so far as to go and talk to a counselor about your insecurities?
Maybe, but I can't wait for the day that I get married. I always need reassurance and I hope that'll give me what I need. I like protective men, the type who'll put an arm around me so I can curl up in a little ball. I like to be smothered.
You're such a twat, aren't you?
(Laughs) Yeah, I'm a dickhead! I was born the way I am though and boobs apart, I wouldn't change all that much about myself... except the insecurity of course!
Do you get off on keeping fit?
No, I like putting my feet up and watching a video!
Which drink(s) can't you say no to?
Red wine and tequila. Oh, and BMWs, which are Bailey's, whisky and Malibu. Warren and I were in Spain at this bar ordering these things and I ended up sooooo pissed. They get you off your head - they're brilliant.
And what's your policy on dealing with hangovers?
Milk before you start drinking, no drinking on an empty stomach and Nurofens in the morning. I don't think there's a cure as such, really.
And food?
Everything but sprouts! I especially love pasta - maybe that's because I'm half-Italian and half-American.
And what about humor?
Well, I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff, live You've been framed. I've got a dry sense of humor, really.
Can I mention cars to you?
You know that I've got nine points on my license, don't you? I was rushing about , on the phone at the same time and changing the cassette tape so that I wasn't paying attention and walloped into the back of another poor guy's car. It was my fault but at least the poor guy saw the funny side that some page 3 girl had come crashing into him. The ambulance guys were strapping me into the little chair and asking for my autograph at the same time!
What's your worst habit?
I'm truthful and straightforward to the point of being tactless sometimes. I'm like that, but then again, I'm a Gemini.
And what does that mean?
It means that I can be very nice and very naughty, too! Then again, isn't it the same for everybody?!
What's better; good chocolate or bad sex?
I'd rather have bad sex, because you can always improve it with care and practice. Bad chocolate's always bad though, isn't it? And you can even combine the chocolate and sex, but that's a bit passŽ now, isn't it? Chocolate body paint and all that.
Does it ever concern you that there are a lot of nutters out there, and maybe some idiot who'll maybe want to stalk you?
Yeah. I haven't had any problems so far, despite being stupid enough to have nominated my Mum's home as a fanclub address. A few local people turned up but, thank goodness, no stalkers! The thing is, because you do page 3, some men think that you have no brain and that they can send you letters saying "Send me a picture of you nude" and much, much worse. Warren has seen some of these and his attitude is "How sick are these people?" It's stupid and insulting, really. You do get some weirdoes, who obviously don't get replies, but if there are any nice people out there who want to write to me pleasantly, then they'll get a pleasant reply back!
So what happened with Teddy Sheringham? Tell me the story.
I first saw TS on "They think it's all over" about three years ago. I was with my then-boyfriend at the time and I was, like, "Wow, who's that - he's well sexy!" I started to follow his career from then on and every paper I got my hands on, I looked at the sports pages to see if he was in there. I used to think "Cor, I'd love to go out with him" but he was going out with that Nicole Smith at the time, who's famous for being Mandy Smith's sister (puts fingers down throat!). Anyway, I got to meet him and it took off. He was just the best thing ever...ever. But I was younger and naive, I suppose, and I told my then-agent about us. She twisted it all up and sold the story to the press, which made me look a right bitch. God, I've never told anyone this before... She sold the story behind my back for a fortune, which was awful for me because I'm actually quite a private person. And as soon as it hit the tabloids it changed everything. My agent denied she'd done the dirty on me, but I know now that she did. She tried to blame my best friend as having been the source, but that's just bullshit. It was all over the front page of the Sun and it went on for days and days and days. The headline was "On my bed, Ted!" and people say now that I'm only well-known because I went out with him, which is bullshit. If it hadn't been for the papers, I might have still been with him... I don't know. I really did like him and I am gutted, in a way. And now I'm with Warren I'm so happy, but deep down I still think I deserve a chance to prove to Teddy that I'm not that sort of person.
And have you spoken to him since?
Well, we've been on the phone a few times but because it's been in the papers I don't think that he trusts me any more. You've gotta remember that I was probably a nobody to him and, to have had it all end up in the papers, he must think "Oh look, she's just using me" and it wasn't like that at all.
Have you ever had a chance to explain all that to him?
(Sadly) Well, no. This (feature) is a way though!
And is he still with Nicole Smith?
Yes. Well, apparently. There was a football program on the other night. She was on it and she was digging at me. It was about footballers' girlfriends and she said something like "You get these people out there who go for footballers and take them for all they can get and it always ends up in the tabloids...not mentioning any names or anything" and I thought "Are you fucking sure, or what?" and I know she was getting at me, so it obviously still gets to her. I say "GOOD ONE!" - because I'm still around! I don't like to follow the football scene any more. Now I've met Warren I'm really happy now but... I still want my chance to prove to Teddy that I wouldn't do that. It's not my style.
So would you like to sit down with Teddy and tell him the truth of what happened?
Yeah. I really would. Don't get me wrong - I'm happy with Warren, but yeah, I still carry it with me. I never got over it, but once I met Warren, he took my mind completely off it. Mind you, even now, when I see Teddy on TV these days, I think "What a shame".
But Nicole's not going to let you near him now, is she? She'll be too frightened of you.
Yeah, but little does she know that I'm going to the World Cup in France! How little does she know about THAT?! Anyway...
Well, she'll know now!
Yeah! (giggles)
Did you never think about writing to him and saying "Hey, Teddy... it was like this"?
Nah. He's probably got all these other girls running after him and I'd just be one more of them. He'd probably be thinking that I was just after his money but I'm not like that at all. I've just not been brought up like that. I never ask anyone for anything. Even though I'm happy with Warren, I'd love to go back and clear it up with Teddy but if I was in Warren's position, I wouldn't like that.
Just out of interest... does Warren like football?
No, he doesn't. Can you blame him with my past?! (laughs)
And are there any other nice blokes you've met through the business?
I'll tell you who's a nice guy - Ralph Schumacher. He's the brother of Michael Schumacher and he's a racing driver, too. We did some photo-shoots together recently (Schumacher races for the Formula 1 Jordan Team) and everybody commented on how relaxed he was with me.
But he's just a mate, right?
Oh, yeah! Irish TV interviewed me at the photo shoot and were saying that rumours were flying that he had a thing for me but that's just bollocks!
What was it like for you when your ex-boyfriend sold his story about your relationship to the newspapers?
Well, I was reading it and saying to myself "Fucking hell, they're making me sound like a right bitch", which I'm not at all. When you go out with someone, you trust them and you share everything with them, don't you? And to think someone like that can then go and sell something about you is really disgusting. That's another reason I'm much more careful because you just don't know who you can trust. The only ones I really trust are my Mum and Dad and those who are closest to me. But that type of thing happens to lots of people, and the papers can bring you down as well as build you up. He told the papers that I had a bullwhip and that I cracked it every time I wanted sex, which is a load of crap. Admittedly, I have got a whip, but it's not a bullwhip and I didn't do that. He said I made him get on all fours and lick my boots, too, but that's bollocks an' all!
Does it bother you? Don't you think "Fucking bastard... I hope he chokes on the money!"?
Well not really; I'd like M8 to send him a copy of this so I can tell him that I've got my own back. He gave me the name of being a man-eating cheat in the papers... maybe it was hurt pride or something, I don't know. But he also spread it around my home town, being a bit of a Jack-the-lad and all that. He told people that he got a stack of money for the story and bought a new van with it and everything...
A new WHAT?
A new van. Yeah!
Eh? Why would anyone publicly shit on an ex-girlfriend for the price of a van, for fuck's sake?
Well, he was a sparky (an electrician), you see. Hence the van - but I'll tell you something; he never sparked up my love-life, that's for sure! Anyway, he gave me a mobile phone on his phone account and I was supposed to pay him for the calls I made. But, after we split up, I canceled my direct debit and got another phone. Then he called me one day, out of the blue, and said that there was a bill of £258.17 outstanding on the phone he'd given me, so I promised to pay it. He said to me: "Don't let me down on this, will you? I got you this phone as a favor". And I'm thinking to myself "You WHAT?!" So he can read in M8 that I've actually not paid the bill, I'm not going to pay it, and that most of the bill was run up by me chatting up Warren! That'll teach him.
It certainly will, even if it's not as much as he got for the newspaper article. Finally, Jordan, describe yourself in three words.
"Perfect little package". Mind you - only for the right person!
And, with that, Jordan drained what was left of her wine glass and announced that she was "absolutely cream crackered". M8 saw her safely off to bed, chatting as she went to her favorite Gladiator on the mobile phone she does pay the bills for! There's something vaguely haunting about Jordan; something troubling that lingers long after the last whiff of her perfume has gone. Maybe it's her honesty about herself, which sits awkwardly against the tone of the industry which she is so successful in. Maybe it's her insecurity. Or maybe - just maybe - it's the fact that she's quite plainly got a lot to give of herself and that the very naiveŽ which draws people to her may cause her problems - particularly in areas of the heart - in the future. Meeting Jordan demonstrates that money, fame and being sexually attractive and desirable to the vast majority of the opposite sex do not guarantee happiness, security or self-love. And - working in an industry where yesterday's top babe is tomorrow's "who?", Jordan will attract far more disappointments, hurtful crock-of-shit tabloid revelations and malicious gossip in the course of her career than the rest of us have to face in five lifetimes. What she lacks in worldly wisdom, though, she makes up for in candor and enthusiasm. She tells it like it is and consequently inspires your trust. You can only imagine how hurtful it must be for somebody like Jordan to be betrayed by somebody she trusts, herself. She may be reaching for the stars (both metaphorically and in the physical sense!), but her feet are well-planted on the ground. Right now, she has a man in her life who is plainly providing her with the love and stability she so craves, but Jordan knows now that fame can place enormous strains on even the best of relationships. Whatever life throws at her, though, you can't help but feel that it'll be her prevailing honesty, more so than anything - or anyone - else, that gets her through it. It might be all glamour on the surface but, underneath, she is only human, after all. |
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